Posts by Wounded Heart

3

cautious man

by stephenw20 in

he walked lookin' over his shoulder and remained faithful to its code.

when something caught his eye he'd measure his need.

and then very carefully he'd proceed.

Wounded Heart

well done! i enjoyed this very much! got any others? do you do alot of writing?

Wounded Heart

Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love

205

HELLO? HELLO? "ALL" SIGN IN???????

by waiting in

simon did away with the sex forum - so i must take the tradional route and post under "make new friends.

" how mundane!.

fyi ---- for all of us, please take the time to write a sentence or two about yourselves, and encourage new ones to do the same.

thank you for such a warm welcome. was nervous about sharing such intimate feelings/situations but am very glad i did. you are right, it did take alot to post. your comments help me feel better about sharing such things.

i look forward to getting to know you better.

Wounded Heart

Love by giving to & accepting others unconditionally = true, pure love

205

HELLO? HELLO? "ALL" SIGN IN???????

by waiting in

simon did away with the sex forum - so i must take the tradional route and post under "make new friends.

" how mundane!.

fyi ---- for all of us, please take the time to write a sentence or two about yourselves, and encourage new ones to do the same.

Wounded Heart

hey caveman....carmel

actually wounded heart is near wounded shoulder as i do where my heart on my sleve at times. heeeheeeheee.

______________________________________________________________________
...picking on the old waiting warrior and sometimes there's collateral damage to the onlooking gallery~ She's an old wrinkled battle axe who has one foot in the grave and draggin the other around
____________________________________________________________________

if what you say is true poor waiting must get dizzy---what with running around in circles an all. she doesnt seem to be dizzy in what she posts so im taking your comments with a dose of salt. please forgive me...i couldnt help it!

Wounded Heart

205

HELLO? HELLO? "ALL" SIGN IN???????

by waiting in

simon did away with the sex forum - so i must take the tradional route and post under "make new friends.

" how mundane!.

fyi ---- for all of us, please take the time to write a sentence or two about yourselves, and encourage new ones to do the same.

Wounded Heart

thanks Mark, thanks Carmel, i appreciate the warm welcomes. i look forward to getting to know you all.

see you on the boards! :-)

WH

20

what brought you out?

by uncle_onion in

jw
friends

i was intersted in what brought "you" out.. with me it was the 607 bce thing.

i always followed the org and would have died for it but when i saw the fallacy of the 607 date that blew it for me.

i am now on a quest to try and find something to feel comfortable with.

Wounded Heart

.

20

what brought you out?

by uncle_onion in

jw
friends

i was intersted in what brought "you" out.. with me it was the 607 bce thing.

i always followed the org and would have died for it but when i saw the fallacy of the 607 date that blew it for me.

i am now on a quest to try and find something to feel comfortable with.

Wounded Heart

hi uncle onion

for me it was that the cong i was in (ALL my life) as well as surrounding congs were not nice to one another. unless of course you belonged to the elite groups. anyone with depression or physical problems were left by the wayside. it was find when i could aux pio but when i couldnt any longer then i was segregated to the "lowly" group once again. this was a widespread problem in the congs that my friends were in too. so very un-christ-like. i figure if they cannot show even the simplest of christ-like attitudes and kindnesses then they could not be truly from god.

also, i know that they cover over severe abuses within the congs. they harbor sick, twisted child abusers amongst other things.

im a people person. i certainly do not claim to understand any of the prophecies or dates or whatever. never was interested. only studied it enough to answer at meetings. still dont care. probably never will. but showing the love of christ is so very important to me.

thanks for the question

Wounded Heart

205

HELLO? HELLO? "ALL" SIGN IN???????

by waiting in

simon did away with the sex forum - so i must take the tradional route and post under "make new friends.

" how mundane!.

fyi ---- for all of us, please take the time to write a sentence or two about yourselves, and encourage new ones to do the same.

Wounded Heart

the story of Wounded Heart

i guess i should just go ahead and tell about myself--just take the plunge as it were. ive been here since witnet closed down. lurking mostly tho did find the courage to get a membership but not quite courageous enough to keep posting. AUGH! ok, ok, here goes.

im 34 and have been in borg since age 4. i started having major depression in 91 and still battle it today. had many problems that ive had to face. including my mom dying. it all got to be soooo awful. abuse issues came to light just before and since her death. needed consolation and none was to be had. still have dad and brother...at the time we were not close. today we are. so much going on in head then/now. i isolated myself whenever possible. and they(so called bros & sis) did nothing to include me in their families/groups of friends. all i heard was how lowly i was...not enough service, things would get better if only i was out in service, etc. stopped service and school 3yrs before i actually drifted off. some of what i was dealing with and some of what i still deal with are anxiety disorder, phobias, panic attacks, depression, ocd, low selfesteem, insomnia, self hatred, paranoia (think this was more jw induced), and a dissociative disorder which later i found to be MPD/DID. are you still breathing? it gets better. physically i am ALWAYS in major pain. had surguries that corrected a tiny problem but left major problems in its wake. course then i was dealing with flashbacks, fear, fear, more fear, and all the usual that comes from being sexually, emotional, physically abused as a child. BUT i still hung on. still believed that the org would help me thru it all. oh, i was so nieve! little did i know!

growing up i daydreamed during all meetings. played with my pencils and other things in my purse---making stories and keeping my self entertained in my head. was blessed with being able to quickly find an answer in a paragraph even if i didnt know what topic it was. around age 16 i noticed all my friends were getting dipped and so thought it was the thing i needed to do. that damn peer pressure again. i worked hard for 3 years to get dipped. it wasnt til about a week before that i found out i was supposed to have already dedicated myself in prayer. no one told me that! and they had already approved my dip. never did understand the "soul" kind of stuff. didnt pay enough attention to what was said. in retrospect, it was my service records they were most interested. no one check to really see how i was doing in that regard. since age 16 i had a problem with, ummm, lets just say the *M* word. didnt even know what i was doing or what it was called until about age 18. when i found out what it was and how it was viewed i thought i was condemed to die. because i was committing "fornication" in my mind. but i started fighting against nature. and was actually sucessful for the 3mos prior to being dipped. the shame i felt. the selfhatred. the fear. it goes so deep--even to this day. then came dipping day. i should have listened to my body and my heart. i knew i was not worthy of this. the fear in my heart was to the point of exploding. my body was fighting against this very strongly. in fact, in a weird, very weird experience: the night before dipping i had the ungodly discharge that was BRIGHT green. i knew then and there i was gonna die.

after dipping, my lack of *selfcontrol* came back with full force and with full vengence. it was 10 long, tortuous years before i confessed to an "e" about my problem. thinking i would receive absolution. HA boy oh boy was i NIEVE!!!! it took another 7 tortuous (emotionally) years till i actually came to resolution about it being natural. just recently i heard that it is about 97.9999% of women and 99.9999% men practice this natural act. which to me, says that every damn "e" was practicing it while i was suffering in mind, heart, spirit. those that i turned to neglected to tell me it was not a sin to be dfd for. i fell right into the cult thinking. whatever the borg said had to be true.

i drifted away about 3-4yrs ago. the final insult was being ignored (after almost 30yrs as a jw) when i tried to talk (light topics) with others. i was positively ignored. even those that were supposed to help ignored me. the reaction i had was that i became psychotic each and every time i went to a meeting. i became deeply suicidal. the more i went to meetings the more these feelings were enforced. and i just wanted the suffering to be over with. suicide was the solution. but before i made such a dramatic move i stopped going to meetings. and the psychotic feelings lessened and lessened. i instead turned to worldly family to find support, reconnected old family ties and found a wonderful reason to live. my cousin...a little girl then (11 now). it was her love that kept me from making the biggest mistake in my life (suicide). her love saved me. i am eternally grateful to her. we are the best of friends now. i just wish she could be 5 again. shes growing up so quickly.

so here i am. almost 4yrs away from the borg. grateful that i drifted away. still have family in borg that i love dearly and would not wish to put them in a difficult situation. i started at witnet. found this site when witnet closed down. i have lurked more cause of "borg" fear.

i always imagined id just go back when i was ready. the more i hear of how they have and continue to treat others the less i want to be part of that. i was guilty of un-christ-like behavoir to others. even doing/saying/thinking/believing the same stuff that others thought of ME. sometimes i believe i deserved how they acted toward me. but i think thats just more borg thinking and indoctrination. i try really hard not to believe it. hard to do somedays. and i feel really bad that i was part of their hurtfulness. i really thought i was doing right. guess i should chalk it up to life lessons huh?

it is disgusting the way that the borg covers over the awful things they partake in. that they harbor child molesterss and other abusers and such.

TMI? yes most likely. but i feel it necessary to let others know they are not alone. that there are others out there that have gone thru some of the same crap. i identified with lots of what others have posted here. even tho i was lurking and did not talk to them, they hit on issues that i have dealt with or am dealing with. they have given me courage to plunge in and tell my story. the only way i feel real comfortable doing this is lay it all out there. partly because, if you all are gonna reject me then you can do so quickly. for i cannot bare to get too attached only to learn i dont fit in. but mostly cause if there is someone out there that identifies with even 1 aspect of what i have gone thru, then its worth it.

i have no interest in the prophacies they failed in, no interest in the timeline of things anymore. i care about people. i care about being christ-like toward others and showing love the way christ did. the rest will work itself out.

my hope is that ill find good friends here. fingers crossed. lol.

Kath aka Wounded Heart

UGH. ok now to actually hit the post buttonn. good thing theres an edit button. LOL. ok, ok, deeeeeeep breath! <click>

16

Paducah, KY News 6 Report

by silentlambs in

jehovahs witnesses, resigned pastor draw battle line over child molestation coverup charges.

last month, bill bowen not only resigned as presiding overseer of jehovahs witnesses at draffenville.

bowen charged his denomination with a national policy of elders not reporting confessions made by child molesters to police.

Wounded Heart

waiting,
thank you, i too look forward to future exchanges.

Thinkers Wife,
sorry but i dont remember which magazine it was in. i believe it was the awake tho. i was extrememly upset when the article was written. very frustrating to find help only to have it taken away so quickly. i rec the mags but only to save face for my family. and also cause ive not been back at all. it started as not being able to (phy/emo probs). it now is more because i cannot stand the hipocracy along with the problems stated in my above post.

i wish you success in finding the article. the jist of it was that, "since there are possible problems that could arise from this type of therapy....it is a 'conscience' matter..." which as any one whos been thru it knows it the way the WBTS does things to forbid without being responsible for forbidding. AUGH!!

i know i should post to say hello but am feeling shy in doing so....is it manditory? thanks in advance.

Wounded Heart

16

Paducah, KY News 6 Report

by silentlambs in

jehovahs witnesses, resigned pastor draw battle line over child molestation coverup charges.

last month, bill bowen not only resigned as presiding overseer of jehovahs witnesses at draffenville.

bowen charged his denomination with a national policy of elders not reporting confessions made by child molesters to police.

Wounded Heart

hello waiting,

sorry to keep you waiting. lol i know i know youve prob heard that before.

im not sure what i need or want to say in response so im gonna take it piece by piece. i tend to kinda skip around sometimes--just how my brain works.

i am/was a sister since age 4. i stopped going to the meetings 3yrs ago (im 34). the major reason being that my congregation does not show the love Christ showed. and none of the surrounding congregations were comfortable for me. i have alot phy, emo problems. it is very complex. but the emo probs started about 3-4 years before i stopped going. the un-Christ-like attitudes in general and in my so called friends broke the back so to speak. i became psychotic and suicidal everytime i attended meetings. not good. because of my lack of attending meetings and not being out in service, i am inactive.

having said the above paragraph, i also feel it necessary to state that i had/have a problem with the way childabuse is handled within the congregation. i totally support and cheer for silentlambs' coming forward to bring this into the light. Jah's organization really needs to have a complete housecleaning.

i have benefited from the "herbal therapy" type of things that other sisters would tell me about. however, i believe that we should all be responsible for checking into these "therapies" for ourselves. i do not agree with the "warnings" not to have higher learning. the more informed we are the better. i also dont agree with the fact that as soon as we would start looking or applying these therapies we would hear from WBTS that this was a wrong thing to be involved in. i am one of the ones who greatly benefitted from bio-keneisiology(sp?). and of course, its not allowed. prob just cause it was doing so much good. seems the more we try to gain better health, etc, there is suddenly a warning about it. very frustrating.

about the example of "SRA" that bros/siss have experienced. i personally have found that if someone talks about their past experiences, they will find others who have those types of experiences or similiar. being that jws are advised not to be talking about such matters, it is when we break the silence and shame by talking about iit that we find others have similiar experiences. you cant and dont know about things that are not talked about.

these are my personal viewpoints. i have lived thru the above and more.

thank you for the response.

Wounded Heart

Edited by - Wounded Heart on 17 February 2001 10:29:31

16

Paducah, KY News 6 Report

by silentlambs in

jehovahs witnesses, resigned pastor draw battle line over child molestation coverup charges.

last month, bill bowen not only resigned as presiding overseer of jehovahs witnesses at draffenville.

bowen charged his denomination with a national policy of elders not reporting confessions made by child molesters to police.

Wounded Heart

**********************************************
Another poster one time brought up the point that sisters in particular seem prone to odd medical/mental disorders. Perhaps the JW mind bend? Sometimes they seem overly eager to jump onto the current craze.
**********************************************

dear waiting,
would you please elaborate as to what the "odd medical/mental disorders" refer to? and is this your viewpoint also? i cannot tell if you are just quoting or if you are stating your view. i dont want to assume one or the other.
thanks in advance,
Wounded Heart